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ANNUAL CHRISTMAS NEWS LETTER

  $eason of "91"
A long winded & lyrical look at the quality frivolity in the continuing short story serial about the observations and adventures of a mans private passion with his ocean racer.  He was raised by the water, got bigger, but somehow never grew up. 
(For maximum effectiveness and enjoyment, read newsletter at room temperature very late at night in bed on Christmas Eve, with an exterior wind chill factor of at least -10 degrees below 0 with arctic winds.  Try to visualize the steam rising off of Lake Michigan.)

YEAR IN REVIEW
I bought a little house in Bridgeport and the renovation project took almost all summer, seriously biting into my precious boating season.  But now I can see fireworks 150 times each summer from my back yard after each game at Sox Park, about a block away.  Forty thousand crazed fans wearing fashion violations come out of the woodwork for each game.   Although it's an intrusion of seclusion, I still find it interesting.  By June there was still last years gas in the 150-gallon tank.  The 94 days of summer slipped by very quickly and the odor of Hawaiian Tropic coconut suntan lotion and teak oil was a little shorter and sweeter.   I went out only on Sundays passing the landmarks of life-throttle down to test and enjoy the limits of life.   Of course keeping in mind that 5 seconds of negligence can make the boat an insurance write off.
In Real Estate investing the people who make the real money are in the Real Estate Seminars; twin to that, are the people who make the real money in boating-the people who build and maintain boats.   After over a decade in boating, I finally have all expenses related to boating in proper prospective.  I do almost all my own repair work and I am saving a real estate fortune.  In fact with the recent recession, some of us can't even afford the boats that we are living in now!   

  4th OF JULY

The banks of Monroe harbor filled up quickly with almost 2 Million people from from the boonies and beyond for the Fourth of July fireworks display.  I think that it's the best quarter million dollars the city spends in their budget.  (More about that later).   It was a spectacular view of the fireworks anchored right under the pyrotechnics barge.  The breathtaking computerized display allowed long burning remnants to burn by my ears during the final fall before sizzling into the 73-degree water.  It was more breathtaking than a thousand boats sending up distress flairs.
July 18 was the first day to crack 100 degrees.  It was difficult to watch the air and water show in 4-5 foot waves, hoping the cleats stay bolted on the bow, while the anchor line pulled mercilessly on the bottom of the lake.
DOG DAYS OF AUGUST
In contrast to last year, the dog days came this year in the last week of August.  Air temperatures of 95 with a much higher humidity index.  The weather was perfect for fishermen hoping to haul in a 350-pound teamster.  I could finally get in a few carefree weeks of boating after moving twenty years of accumulation and memorabilia into the new house.  Heading out to sea with a smile and little else on, it was finally time for gas on and some serious leisure.  Everyday was a good day for me.   A bad day is when I drop my TV remote control into the Jacuzzi. 
In August, Hammond Indiana  (where the sewer meets the sea), adopted a new policy.  They where giving tickets to anybody going over 10 miles an hour on the open lake after dark!!!  I guess it's because of some breakwater walls, which are sometimes hidden underwater.  It can be dangerous unless you are very familiar with the area.
September came early this year and I see my fair weather hi-performance friends begin to disappear one by one, sometimes due to mechanical gremlins hiding under their motor hatches.  When a motor scatters into pieces, it brings to mind the ancient saying, "the last shot of a brittle bow is the truest." 
Then all too soon the reality of fall set in again as I noticed more and more very colorful leaves slowly drifting by about a foot underwater.  It was time to turn in the slicker for something thicker.
The first freeze arrived September 19th, a month before the end of the season, technically creating almost a month of Indian summer.   The only problem was the record rainfall for the entire month of October.  Then in the first week of November big time records were set, as wind chills went under 0.  Cold enough to break an engine block full of Lake Michigan water.
ROCK & ROLL ON DRY LAND
 INBETWEEN MARINE ROCK & ROLLIN'
My new 60's nostalgia band GREASED LIGHTNING is rolling along well.  At 47 I'm sill having fun rockin' & rollin' instead of Friday night bowlin'.  Just call me a geriatric gyrator with aches and pains & capitol gains.
We generally play outdoor concert events all summertime and club dates in the wintertime.  During the outdoor concerts we worked with Edgar Winter, The Cryn' Shames, B.J. Thomas, The Dakotas, Gary Lewis & The Playboys, The Outsiders, and the Beatle Band, American English. 
I use my outrageous pink custom made 5 foot long "lightning bolt" lead guitar.  When lightning strikes we always have fun in our "band colors" of, black & white with bright pink highlights, all the way down to matching pink guitars with white sport coats & pink carnations.  We are working on some good dates for this winter. 
Come see us at the fantastic 60,000 square feet Excalibur Nightclub at 632 North Dearborn right across the street from the Hard Rock Cafe.  It’s right off of the Dan Ryan expressway taking Ohio Street into the city.  Turn North (left), just after the old time Rock & Roll MacDonald’s on Ohio Street for one block and you're at the Excalibur castle. 
We will be performing from 9PM until 1AM on Saturday night, February 8th (The Second Saturday in February).   Mark your calendar now because this cleavage club is the best in Chicago with several floors of entertainment and food.  Make it a whole evening there at the planet of the blonds.  
As of this mailing,  we are still open for New Years Eve!  
(Don't you wonder about people with vanity phone numbers?   I even have 924-"RENT" and 268-"RENT" if you’re looking for an apartment.  Or better yet, fax me at 268-7397.)
THE POLITICS OF BOATING
The last annual boaters meeting on January 24, 1990 featured a scale model layout of the new marina at the North end of Monroe Harbor.  It is scheduled to begin construction in 1992 if all goes well.  Bob Nelson (President of the marine division) took questions and gave honest answers responding well to the usual complaints.
Don't let the Government Issue the tissue to the boaters with this new "user fee'.   If you haven't heard about it yet, effective September 1, 1991 all boaters are required to pay the Coast Guard $100 each year for no other reason than to supplement the general fund of the U.S. Treasury.  Not one penny is intended for the Coast Guard budget.  It has been poorly disguised as a "users fee". 
Congress considers boaters easy prey.  Please write Alan Dixon, Paul Simon, Charles Hayes, Gus Savage or Marty Russo to voice your opinion.  I wrote all the congressmen.   The penalty for non-compliance is a fine of $5,000 effective last October 1, 1991.  For more info., call 1-800-848-2100.    Before they hear your voice at this number, they ask you how many years you want to pay up for up front!  I guess they expect you to pay your tuition for the school of hard knocks.  Uncle Sam has his hand in your pants while my neighbor, Mayor Daly, is promising cutbacks in Taste Of Chicago, Venetian Night, and Fourth of July.  Oh well, I guess there's always season after next!
And finally, for those of you who don't enjoy the sound of a pair of hi-performance motors screaming to its driver for mercy, Illinois has stiffened its boating anti-noise regulations.  Although the new laws are unclear and non-specific, a second violation of the stringent pass-by test will be a felony!   I guess the off-shore racers will have to race way off-shore.
Anyway, I just wanted to sincerely wish everybody happy holidays and best of luck in the coming new year.   In America you can do anything that you want, all you have to do is DO IT!


Bill