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NEWS LETTER
Season
of "90"
The continuing short story serial about the observations
and adventures of a mans private passion with his ocean racer. He was
raised by the water, got bigger, but somehow never grew up.
(Read this newsletter at room
temperature very late at night in bed just before Christmas, with an exterior
wind chill factor of at least 0.)
All the boats huddle under their tarps laden down with the weight of frozen
snow and Joni Mitchell singing her songs of Christmas. Winter is
now creeping along at its own petty pace. I am longing for those first
sounds of spring, two loud 500 horsepower engines singing in harmony.
YEAR IN REVIEW
Last April 10, I started the
boat in the shop and prepare to drop it in the water. Already there were
5 boats in Burnham Harbor and 2 in Monroe Harbor. On April 17 I'm in the
water! I was the second boat on my star dock, being beaten by only one
other fanatic.
Then my prudence paid off. Exactly one week later on April 24 there were record-breaking
87-degree temperatures, which stay around for about a week. It looks like
it is certainly going to be a great season, but it ain't over till it's over.
Anyone who has a grasp for the obvious knows that the weather was terrible and
there was little opportunity to savor the season. I even
contemplated not writing a newsletter this year but since I'm a full throttle
kind of guy, here goes! I would hate to come off as all surface
with no substance.
Let me just say in as positive a way as I can, that last season was a
bald-headed, knock-kneed, mouse-eyed, pigeon-toed, pencil-necked geek who was
not welcome in my subliminal little world of palm trees and papayas.
THE POLITICS OF BOATING
We can buy our own freedom with the
money that we don't spend. A White House budget office plan that was
floating around required boaters to pay a new federal excise tax on
boats. The tip-off to the rip-off is that boaters already pay over $200
million each year in excise taxes for recreational boating. The Bush
Administration finally pulled the plug and sank it-thanks to George, that wild
and crazy Cigarette boat owner himself.
Last January was the 1st annual meeting of Chicago area boaters.
Bob Nelson is the man in charge and he created it. If you have a
suggestion or complaint, this is the perfect forum to voice your opinion.
I take my hat off to Bob for being so accessible and facing everyone eyeball
to eyeball in the heat of battle.
If there is something on your mind and you can't find the time to show up at
the meeting, instead of complaining about it, you should forever hold your
peace. Leave Mr. Nelson in charge right there in the kitchen where he
bravely feels most conformable always cooking up some great new ideas. In
boxing terms there was no H 2/0-TKo
TREADING WATER
In May and June there was still a
chilly feeling in the air that the season hasn't really started, so we
waited. Finally..........July arrived with almost 100-degree heat and
fireworks. In the late evenings the fresh odor of the lake emitted a
distinct aroma like fresh cut watermelon. Sometimes I slept so well on
the boat that it turned out to be the highlight of my day.
Then in true Chicago tradition the entire second week of June was a
disappointing straight 50 degrees with rain, high winds & waves.
Chicago received only about 10% of normal sunshine. It made absolutely no
sense for anyone to go down to his or her boat, but there we all sat in the
harbor wrapped up like burritos while the high waves caused a commotion on the
ocean. Just sitting there I was constantly looking for something to
repair to satisfy my marine hypochondria cal tendencies.
During one of those windy days my sailboat neighbor on the next star dock
couldn't get out of his space. You see, the star docks are free floating
piers in the shape of a star and are attached only by heavy chains to the
bottom of the harbor. When very strong winds blow, the star docks get
randomly blown around sometimes only leaving 4 or 5 feet between them,
therefore not leaving enough space to negotiate docking. I thought I'd
help!
Being the good neighbor that I am with all that horsepower, I started my
boat (still tied up) put it in gear, and actually moved about 18 other boats
and the star dock far enough over for my neighbor to get out.
The air show was squeezed in between the drizzle on Sat July16 & July
17. For all practical purposes, it was washed out. Watching the
planes against black clouds was like trying to watch flies at a funeral.
BEATLEMANIA BY BURNHAM
Don't tell Mick or Paul you can't
pump out valid rock & roll at almost 50 years of age. Billed as the
biggest concert of the summer was the Paul MaCartney concert of July
29th. Before nightfall the excitement of the old Beatle mania
feeling came back with radio ads, TV spots, and planes overhead illuminated
while pulling banners ala "We love you Paul.......Yea Yea Yea."
A true happening!
The show started at 9PM in Soldier's Field right across from the harbor.
The sound had clear definition and was surprisingly listen able and loud with
each rendition sounding better and better, as we Beatle fans stood up on our
boats to get a better listen. There was a little too much natural reverb
pulsing from the stadium, but for the price of admission we couldn't
complain. The sky was glowing and pulsating in time with the
music. Obviously, an incredible light show was coming from within.
At 10PM was the ending of the show topped with fireworks. Paul then came
back for an amazing 2 hour encore and played short versions of many more songs
that changed the world. I thought that each song on the encore was
the last, and each masterpiece was actually strong enough to end the
event. All the familiar songs heard internationally from Muzak in
elevators-to 5 year old grade school city kids record collections-to 85-year-old
folks whistling happy melodies on the front porch of their farm.
After 2 hours of this, I realized what a great artist he is. From
repeating "Ah, look at all the lonely people" over and over to an
entire stadium of 65,000 crazed fans singing the new musical hook of the
90's--the "ooo's" to "I saw her standing there".
Then another end to the concert came with another fireworks display, and
incredibly a final encore with a very serious fireworks display that stopped
cars on Lake Shore Drive and encapsulated Burnham Harbor with smoke. It
was like World War 3. I would guess the fireworks alone were about
$50,000 or $60,000. As many, many thousands of people left the
event and walked down Lake Shore Drive, they were still in a daze while singing
the "na na na's" of Hey Jude.
You have to respect a man who doesn't need to tour (he has an estimated net
worth of over $600,000,000) but just likes to play his music and entertain by
spreading joy in front of millions of happy fans. It certainly must cross
his mind that only one lunatic could bring him the same fate of John
Lennon, yet the live performances still go on all over the world.
That's courage and dedication!
BLAST
FROM THE PAST
My new 60's band "Greased Lightning"
played at some outdoor festivals in-between boating excursions. Some of
our first jobs were with B.J. Thomas & Gary Lewis and the Playboys.
We decided to just have fun for now and play nostalgia hits to assure work
during this recession, as opposed to trying to set the world on fire with
original material (like Paul) and starving while trying to do it (unlike
Paul). A vocation like entertainment that can give so much, sometimes
asks too much!
The band consists of Ms. Cass Siva singing lead, Jody Jones on drums, Dave
Torres on bass, and Joel Pace on keyboards. Come see us! We
play clubs & private parties in the winter-outdoor concerts &
neighborhood festivals in the summertime.
DOG
DAYS OF AUGUST
Record cold again on August 6
&7th and so far the entire summer has not seen 6 days total of above 90
degrees. I thought about asking for a refund from the city as the
boat just sat there with the meter running. It was too lousy to go out
onto the lake so still tied up I listened to everything on my stereo from ABC
to ZZ Top. At one point I got so bored I called the Cellular One credit
department just to hear the Muzak that is played when they put me on
hold.
Venetian night was another total washout with rain and almost nobody in the
spirit to participate in the boat parade. The chilly month goes on and in
my optimism (for warm days ahead) I turn up my refrigerator, but all I
accomplished was to freeze the milk. Day after day the forecast is the same.....cloudy,
cold, with drizzle. Some August days were so chilly, the lake wind
blowing toward the city actually was a warming wind. In
other words, the chilly lake water was actually warmer than the air temperature
in town. This is a very unusual summer phenomenon. The dog days of
August never came this year.
Speaking of dogs, if you hear a yelp for help, lend a hand and be kind to
animals. Some of my best friends are dogs and we should give water canine
a new leash on life.
The forces of nature and dare I say, acts of god were testing
everyone's patience. By the third week of September a noticeable number
of boats have already hibernated for the winter. Usually on Sunday, the
day of rest, I rock from the motion on the boat. But even before
the end of the season was actually over, Sundays were only good for a few
sporting couples huddled closely together for their arctic luau's, while
staring mindlessly at the shore. The only cruising you could have done on
days like that was cable cruising on the TV down below. On the brighter
side, I learned that ice will keep an extra long time and even all winter in
the cooler. Then in the spring you are ready to go.
The lousy weather inspired a few to live out the two happiest days of a boater’s
life. The day you buy your first boat, and the day that you sell your
last boat.
YOUR FRIENDLY MARINE GAS DEALER STICKS YOU UP
Boats are built for either pleasure
or racing, without allowance for the folks who get pleasure from
racing. The pump jockeys smiled from ear to ear when they heard the
lord of the low end, flyin' on fumes heading for the pumps. The
evaporating gas emitted the perfume of mechanical muscle. Even
before the seasons end, gas retailers seized the obvious opportunity to jack up
prices. The new war in the Middle East being this year’s excuse. I
had a Maalox moment when I saw $1.95 per gallon on the lake. (This was
last summer, but now we all pay that.) Marine prices are about 50 cents
higher than the going rate. If they stay at $2.00 a gallon, next season
we can count on a Yacht Club price of about $2.50 a gallon.
Fast Forward can burn about 2 gallons a minute wide open. My 150-gallon
tank costs about $300 to fill at these prices. That will give the boat a little
over 2 hours of terrorizing innocent civilians out there. It's
discouraging trying to be an economical coupon clipper when you're a boater.
After all, when you own a boat that automatically gives any retailer a license
to steal. If you're gonna to play, you're gonna pay! At times like
those, sailing made more and more sense to me. Some sailors don't use 20
gallons of fuel all season, and the wind is free. There's more than one
way to get blown away in the windy city.
CAMERA CREW ON BOARD FOR THE WILD
CHICAGO SHOW.
On September 20 Ben Hollis, star of
the the Wild Chicago show on channel 11, came for a ride with the camera and
sound crew from the station. I met them at the 68th Street crib and
we went for a humorous ride all around the lakefront. When we left there
he commented, nice crib! We're not leavin' till we're heavin'!
Fast Forward is shown on the show at full throttle as part of the beginning
credits each week of the new season. You have to catch the exact show to
see the interview and the silly things that we did that afternoon which is
aired on December 14, at 10:30 PM. That particular show should be re-run
every 13 weeks. If you're curious, TV Guide advertises that particular
Wild Chicago Show with Ed the idea man, the Chicago Motor Coach Company, and
speedboater Bill Prewitt.
After the wild ride for Wild Chicago the port motor started complaining by uttering
whinny little sounds. It turns out to be a main bearing and it's time for
another new L-6 hot rod motor. The videotape you see on the Wild
Chicago Show is the last day the boat ran for the season. My mechanic
Randy Staninaw again gets the job done in a few days.
BOAT
SINKS ON LAND
The Calumet floods on November
27-30 catch me by surprise. Fast Forward is stored in South Holland, one
of the areas hardest hit by the recent floods a few weeks ago. By the
morning of the 28th the boat was sitting in about 5' of water on the
trailer. I left the plug out so that rain would drain out of
the boat. I never dreamed that water would enter the boat from the
drain plug.
It was a helpless feeling watching the floodwater get higher. The
bilge pump was throwing water out the side of the boat for almost 2 days until
the batteries went completely dead. It was a loosing battle. The
closest I could get to the boat during the flood was about 500 feet. I
considered swimming out, but there was reasonably strong current in the 34
degree water. I have a lot of respect for hypothermia and I was feeling
pretty weak in the knees standing in the waste deep water where I was.
Besides, what could I do? If I put the plug back in, the pump would pull
the water out and boat would float away off of the trailer. There
were cars nearby with the dashboards underwater. I didn't sleep that
night.
After the flood crested and the water drained out of the boat, I went on damage
patrol. The water had filled the boat almost two feet, right up to just
under the spark plugs. Upon very careful inspection, no water went into
the motor oil or any other vital part that would freeze and damage the
boat. My mechanic gave it a clean bill of health after we
re-winterized, just to be on the safe side. In the long run, a short cut
seldom is.
Aside from a little mud in the bilge and replacing the carpet, everything else
is fine and the new motors are ready to go. The water didn't reach the
interior, but I planed to replace that in the spring anyway. I never
dreamed that the most water that had ever been inside the boat, would happen on
land!
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN MEN AND BOYS......
............................IS THE PRICE OF THEIR TOYS.
Donald Trump bounced his first
Czech and put his 100 million dollar yacht up for sale in the mist of his
orgasm custody battles. Today, divorces last much longer than the
marriage itself. It seems that in the midst of all his steals &
deals-cheers & jeers-and boat rules of no friggin' in the riggin', Donald
does seem to be a little loose in the caboose-lacks in the slacks or maybe just
easy in the sleazy. Perhaps he needs a fundamental mental
mentor.
Al Copland (offshore racer and owner of Popeye’s Chicken) bought the Church's
Chicken chain for $400,000,000 and is currently in a bit of financial
trouble. However I predict that even if he declares bankruptcy, he will
still somehow be able to come up with a nice boat and a way to finish all the
boating seasons still remaining in his life of luxury. It's just a hunch
that I have!
All year long there were tantrums on the tennis courts to flipin' birds on the
bi-ways. It seems that civility is on its way out. Excuses are more
fashionable than "excuse me." It seems to me that you must
treat people with minimal respect in order to receive it. Just
because my boat looks and acts like a lethal beast and idles at an obnoxious 90
decibels, people just assume that I am and all around rude guy! I live in
Bridgeport but spend most of my time in controversy.
BILLYS BOATING TIPS
* If you miss your water pick
at home, try a squirt gun on the boat.
*When you find a fender that's floating or discarded because it has a small
hole, you can usually patch the hole with heat or silicone so that it doesn't
leak air. It will then be useful again.
*Bungy cords attached parallel with the stardock in the oar holes will keep a
dingy in place without tying it up, and you don't have to lift it over the dock
to put it in the center of the star dock.
*The large plastic liter size of pop is perfect for the boat. Aside from
costing less than "marine prices" the flexible plastic is
unbreakable.
I’m always amazed at how casual
observers of boaters perceive us as being on Easy Street. I don't think
that many of them realize that Easy Street isn't a place; it's a state of
mind. If you’re tired of waiting for your ship to come in, swim out
to it. Have a great Holiday.
Sincerely:
Bill Prewitt
Disclaimer
As you may
have guessed I'm what some might call a "serious boater". My
enthusiasm for spreading the gospel about the spirit of boating has only
grown. I sincerely hope that I communicate that enthusiasm, and that the
reader has shared in it and is enriched by my efforts.
At any and all times the vessel is used within the perimeters of its design and
is operated safely, responsibly, and well within the law. I
support and promote boating safety and at no time mean to express or imply
anything to the contrary. I graduated the United States Coast Guard
Auxiliary "Boating Skills & Seamanship Course" at the top of the
class passing all electives on May 9, 1984 under the supervision of flotilla
commander John J. Olivet. I highly recommend this course and if you would
like to attend, simply call 1-800-336-BOAT. It could very well save your
life and the insurance companies know it. When you successfully complete
the course, you get a substantial "safe boating" discount forever.
This document may not be reproduced in any way without prior written
permission. If you'd like a written transcript of the preceding
newsletter, send a brand new 42' Cigarette boat to: Bill Prewitt